YYYY and other things.

Following up from my other post. Before I got hit by writer's block out of the blue I was about to say that in a strange way, my situation is what I wanted for myself. There's something about pursuing an art that doesn't feel quite right if I'm not in a service job. Besides, working in an office consumes all the time and energy needed for practicing.

I also don't know if I'm quite ready for a "real" job. I can't see myself going to work, coming back home, watching T.V and then going back to bed, only to do the same thing the next day and to keep cycling through that until I retire and die. Yeah, cynical I know. But it seems like office jobs completely consume their workers, especially in Finance, where people in the field are known to develop severe anger problems and substance addictions. Is that really what life should be? To have so much yet in a sense so little? Is that the end?

Okay, I'm going to stop this train of thought because if I continue I'm going to break my rule of staying positive.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that there's a certain standard that people have for others. There's a certain way that people are supposed to behave and a pattern that their life is supposed to follow. Most people think it's quite a bit odd that I want to be a singer.

Non me frega niente. At least that's what I'd like to say about all of that. It's so easy to assume that the rest of the world knows you better than you know yourself. And I've spent too much of my time conforming my life to other peoples' standards for the promises of a standard happy life. It's funny when I think about it, because one of those promises was that I would have had my first kiss by now.

So yes, I enjoy singing. But at the same time I can't seem to bring myself to sing out loud around people. I'm a little self conscious about my voice. It also doesn't help that I'm a baritone and most songs at karaoke bars are sung by tenors. It's really embarrassing when you talk about voice lessons and then someone picks "Hey Soul Sister" for you to sing. Most people don't understand that there are different types of voices in the world. It's almost as if singing is this magical thing that the singing fairy puts inside of you when she visits you at night. I think that the reality of the matter is that a singer needs to practice for a long time to perfect their voice for certain types of music.

I don't know though, I don't want to run my mouth off too much until I feel more comfortable with my voice. I think that the time's coming soon though when I'll be able to put up some soundcloud files on this blog. Soon...

Until then, tanti saluti